Say it Straight, Simple and with a Smile

Last week, I was nursing a cold and dowsing myself with Breathe Deep, Yogi Tea. Of course, being a motivational speaker, I would buy tea where each bag has its own motivational quote! This one really popped out for me: “Say it Straight, Simple and with a Smile,” which inspired this post.

About the Approach

This four-step process can be used in any situation—from having a difficult conversation, asking for a raise, requesting a favor, to just having a heart-to-heart.

• Write out what you want to communicate – Writing down what you want to say gives you clarity and reveals emotional charge or uncertainty. If you can’t distill your message into a few simple, well-crafted sentences, you may still be unclear.
• Practice saying it a few times – Saying the words out loud helps you gauge how they land and how you feel delivering them. A mock conversation with a friend can help your nervous system acclimate, making the real conversation feel less daunting.
• Keep simplifying the language – The more conversational your words, the easier they are for others to absorb. Trade complex language for heartfelt, authentic speech while still considering your audience.
• Focus on delivery – How you say something often matters more than the words themselves. A warm smile and genuine intent for open dialogue can make all the difference.

Why It Matters

Many people, especially women, receive messages to avoid being “too” strong, smart, or outspoken. These messages can lead to self-doubt and hesitation in communication. By eliminating qualifiers (e.g., “maybe,” “perhaps,” “could”) and owning your power, you can advocate for yourself more effectively in both personal and professional settings.

Real-World Example

Years ago, I worked with a client who was interested in a younger man but hesitated to pursue the relationship due to assumptions about his life goals. After crafting a straightforward script and focusing on warm, open delivery, she had the conversation—and ten years later, they’re married with two children.

How to Apply This

If you or your team could benefit from more powerful, authentic communication, I offer coaching and speaking engagements to help individuals and organizations own their voices. Email me to discuss how to bring this approach to your next event or conversation.

Lois Barth is a human development expert, motivational speaker, coach, and author of Courage to Sparkle. She champions women to share their brilliance and live authentically, speaking at conferences nationwide and contributing to publications like The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and MSNBC.com.