First Impressions: The Power of the Handshake

Since human relationships are directly tied to culture, it makes sense that refined social skills are vital for a healthy work environment. This post explores the nature of a familiar social norm—the handshake—and how it can build trust and connection, as well as the challenges it presents, particularly for women.

Truly Pleased to Meet You

The first impression is formed in just 0.07 seconds, and it can take a lifetime to reverse. We subconsciously make 11 different assumptions about a person at first glance. A firm handshake, eye contact, and a smile are encouraged in traditional business settings to establish trust. The practice of shaking hands dates back to 5th century B.C. Greece as a symbol of peace, and modern fMRI technology confirms that appropriate physical touch releases oxytocin, fostering trust.

The Gender Dilemma

While handshakes offer a neurochemical advantage, they also present frustrations, especially for women. Men often shake hands with male colleagues as a daily greeting, but this formality is not consistently extended to or among female colleagues. This disparity extends beyond the workplace—into social settings like kids' sporting events or greetings at bed & breakfasts. Women often face pressure to choose between a handshake and a platonic embrace on the spot, leading to awkward or even embarrassing moments.

Being Quick on Your Feet

One strategy for navigating these situations is to intentionally offer a handshake in professional settings, visibly extending your hand while still a step away to prompt a similar response. In social settings, observation and empathy help determine whether an embrace is appropriate. However, not everyone is comfortable with familiar touch, so this approach may not suit everyone.

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Deborah Goldstein is the founder of Driven Professionals, a community supporting the health, well-being, and success of NYC professionals. She is also the founder of Goldie’s Table Matters, providing education and entertainment to corporate and private clients nationwide.